Finally.

This week, for the first time in a very long time, I haven't felt like I was drowning. It seems that things have started to get a little bit easier. Last week I got two nights of 6 hours IN A ROW of sleep. It's been a loooooong time since that's happened. After that I've only been getting up once or twice a night and that makes a huge difference in my ability to function. It's nice to have a routine again, to count on day time naps and a regular bedtime. So hopefully now we can return to regular scheduled programming on this here blog, because I've missed this space. Fingers crossed that we won't fall down another rabbit hole and end up in the baby gremlin night time horror show again. (Too dramatic?)

Owen is SO STINKIN' CUTE I can hardly believe it. Look at this baby boy.



Let me tell you again how strange it is to have a full term kid after a preemie. It's like being a first time parent, but with none of the advantages of being a first time parent. It's like being a second time parent, with some of the advantages of being a second time parent. All of a sudden I noticed him passing toys back and forth between his hands yesterday. Like, without therapy or games or songs or anything. He just DID IT. I hardly even noticed what he was doing because I was wiping snot or making food or cleaning the bathroom or something like that. The baby books say he'll be making THIS sound at THIS age (Mamamama, gagagaga, nananana, dadadad, oh LOOK how clever he is), blowing raspberries at THIS time (Oh LOOK he's DOING IT), picking up cheerios between this week at that week (OH! This week, he just... got it.) No therapy! No people telling me what to do! No lists of things that he ISN'T doing! He is beautiful and awesome, and I just can't get enough. He's the biggest stinker in the world, though. Seriously.


And our Lucas. LOOK HOW AMAZING HE IS!



He turned four (four?!) two weeks ago, and I missed out on the annual birthday letter that I usually post. We threw a birthday bash at Captain Kids play center, and it was crazy, chaotic, fun and fabulous.






When March 4th rolled around, the most awful water breaking day ever, I didn't even THINK about it this year. We were busy packing for a trip to visit family in Manitoba, and I remembered to call my niece to say Happy Birthday, but I didn't once think, "Oh, four years today my life was falling apart." But when I think of it now, my stomach still kinda goes into my throat and the surreal memories still have the same taste. The difference is now my beautiful child climbs into my lap with his bony bum and elbows and knees and begs for more stories. He laughs hysterically, makes US laugh hysterically, drives us to the brink of crazy and back with his four year old antics, says "I love you" spontaneously, plays hockey and soccer, loves cake and ice cream and movies, goes to preschool, tells me what the wind does, what photosynthesis is, explains what 'respect' means ("MOM! Thank you for showing respect to me!!") and comes up with cute, funny, amazing and awesome things every day. He's the biggest stinker in the world though. I have two of the biggest stinkers in the world. Funny how that works.

Speaking of Manitoba, I really have to post some of these pictures, because it was a super time of visiting, eating, Lucas getting to know cousins and playing in the snow.

First time on an airplane (that he remembers)


Look at these sweet cousins: Isabelle, Lucas, and Olivia
Cousin Emma thought pushing Owen in the (gasp! illegal!) walker was super

He LOVED playing in the snow.


So. Finally an update. Hopefully more to come SOON!